The Rocky Point Wardrobe

Mar 7, 2016 by Dan McWhitis

Probably the dumbest mistake I made when moving to Rocky Point had to do with the clothes I brought with me. Specifically, I’m still amazed I packed two business suits and three sport coats. Hey, these were rookie mistakes. As the months passed, I changed my ideas relative to fashion in our beachside oasis. I’ve created my own fashionista, based mostly on the weather.
I have a wardrobe for the winter and another for the warmth of the summer months. Starting about mid-November I begin wearing Wrangler jeans, boots and flannel shirts. When the temperatures rise in the spring I switch to shorts, sandals and aloha shirts. It should be noted ball caps are worn year round, these are God’s gift to men and some women designed to hide manic hair. If the hair is messy, dirty, or wet one simply pulls on a cap and you’re ready for anything. This “guy wardrobe” is simple, but there are clear rules designed to protect against style transgressions.
It’s not fashionable to wear multicolored shorts with multicolored shirts that don’t match (this can cause dizziness especially if you’re suffering a hangover). One needs to maintain an appropriate weight before sporting a tank top (no explanation necessary) and wearing socks with sandals is considered nerdy (disgustingly nerdy, especially black socks). Many of my beachcombing friends here are of retirement age and subsequently have specific attitudes about what they wear. I am reminded of an age-old question and answer, “Why do grandkids get along so well with their grandparents?” The conclusion is neither one has a job, neither cares about the clothes they’re wearing and both think your parents are idiots.
Today as I wrap-up nearly eighteen months in Rocky Point, I’m interested in two things about clothing. I want to be warm and comfortable in the winter and cool as a jewel in the summer. Anything more, matters not.
I recently got up and realized I didn’t have coffee. I grabbed my wallet & keys, put on a cap hiding the disheveled mop on my head and trekked to the closest convenience store. After finding coffee I walked to the cash register paid and headed to exit. My reflection in door’s mirror was shouting at me. I was wearing navy blue shorts with a black & orange aloha shirt (probably obtained in an inebriated stupor during some past Halloween festivities). My ball cap announced I’m a fan of the El Paso Chihuahuas triple “A” baseball team located in West Texas. Okay, it couldn’t get worse then I realized I was wearing black socks with my sandals.

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