Quack-UpsA child asked her mother, “How were people born?” So the mother said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to her father, asked him the same question and he told her, “We were monkeys, and then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to her mother and said, “That’s not what Dad said!” Her mother replied, “No, your dad was talking about his side of the family.”

Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth…When she was discharged from the Hospital and went home, I went to visit.

‘May I see the new baby?’ I asked

‘Not yet,’ she said, ‘I’ll make coffee and we can chat for a while first.’

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very Impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

‘WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

‘WHEN HE CRIES?’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

‘BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!’