Ask Cap’n Greg

Sep 1, 2013 by Ask Cap'n Greg

CapnGregRoutine is a good thing. It gives order to our lives and encourages us to remember to pay the electric bill so we don’t routinely fade to black. When it comes to retirement in a seaside paradise like Peñasco, routine can get monotonous. I mean, going to Capone’s every Friday at 3:30 to commiserate with friends may sound spectacular—and it is—but sometimes it’s a good idea to change the routine. Like showing up at 3:25 instead.

 

CAP’N GREG: Is it my turn to buy?

 

FRANK: It’s always your turn.

 

CAP’N GREG: But I’m on a fixed income.

 

FRANK: Mine is so bad there’s no way to fix it.

 

CAP’N GREG: What’re you having?

 

FRANK: Anything, as long as it’s cold and isn’t on my medical no-no list.

 

CAP’N GREG: Don’t get me started. My doc says I have a prostate the size of a habanero, and it’s hard as a bowling ball.

 

FRANK: Welcome to my world, Cap’n. By the way, FNU?

 

CAP’N GREG: You cruisin’ for a bruisin’?

 

FRANK: Of course not! FNU stands for frequent nighttime urin…

 

CAP’N GREG: Oh, man. I’m up so often between 10 P.M. and 6 A.M., my wife thinks I’m having an affair with the widow next door.

 

FRANK: Can you get me her number?

 

CAP’N GREG: I think it’s on my phone, but I don’t know where it is. And this morning I lost my car keys.

 

FRANK: Then how did you get here?

 

CAP’N GREG: Taxi.

 

FRANK: Isn’t that your golf cart across the street?

 

CAP’N GREG: So that’s where I left it.

 

FRANK: You need to take one of those on-line memory courses, my friend.

 

CAP’N GREG: Naaah. Forgetfulness is just an age thing. I’ll get over it.

 

FRANK: As we all will. It’s the way life happens.

 

CAP’N GREG: Well, I can’t imagine a better place to spend the rest of it, or to be in better company.

 

FRANK: Makes me thirsty to think about it.

 

CAP’N GREG: Is it my turn to buy?

 

FRANK: It’s always your turn.

 

CAP’N GREG: Thanks for reminding me, Frank.

 

FRANK: My pleasure, Cap’n.

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