There are tons of things to do in Rocky Point. You can choose from swimming to fishing to boating to jet-skis to snorkeling to water weenie rides to barhopping to dining to whale watching to searching for critters at low tide or just plain sightseeing. And there are at least a few dozen more to keep you as busy and entertained and well fed and buzzed up as you’d ever care to be. Damonte Reynolds of Tempe was a first time visitor in August, and he wanted to make the most of his time. I met him on the beach at Playa de Oro.

DAMONTE: Cap’n Greg, of all the stuff to do here, what is your very favorite?

CAP’N GREG: Nothing.

DAMONTE: Maybe you didn’t hear me, being older and all…

CAP’N GREG: I can hear your mama telling you to mind your manners.

DAMONTE: My mama lives in Chicago.

CAP’N GREG: See? My hearing is excellent.

DAMONTE: Let me rephrase the question. Right now, if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?

CAP’N GREG: Nothing.

DAMONTE: That’s what you said before.

CAP’N GREG: And I’ll say it again. Nothing is often my favorite thing to do here.

DAMONTE: Can you explain that?

CAP’N GREG: Sure. August is hot. You move faster than a slow stroll and you’ll sweat out four T-shirts before noon. So what I like to do is find a palapa or a shaded spot near the beach—like right here—have a cooler within reach full of iced down adult beverages, and I sit.

DAMONTE: That’s it?

CAP’N GREG: Yup. The ocean changes constantly. I’m quite a bird expert, so I like to identify any that come by. And, as a bonus, I get to live vicariously by watching young people have fun.

DAMONTE: Like those UA coeds in tiny bikinis playing volleyball?

CAP’N GREG: Thank you for pointing that out, Damonte.

DAMONTE: Now I get it. Instead of going out and doing all that stuff, you wait for it to come to you!

CAP’N GREG: Excellent observation. From minimum effort, I get maximum enjoyment.

DAMONTE: Hey! Is that a blue-footed boobie over there?

CAP’N GREG: No, I think that’s just the way the light is hitting her.

DAMONTE: Wow. Can I stay here and do nothing with you, Cap’n Greg?

CAP’N GREG: There’s nothing I’d like better.