Like a kid in a candy shop, too much of a good thing can be overwhelming. With more places to stay, more bars and restaurants, and more activities, that’s what Rocky Point has become in the last few years. What do you do first? How much time do you have? How much money? Sure, you can ask for advice from Cap’n Greg, but when it comes right down to it, the questions I get are not always coherent. Here are examples of what I’m up against.

MEL: I’m bringing my boat down for the first time. Where is the best place to catch fish?

CAP’N GREG: That would be in the water.

MEL: But where?

CAP’N GREG: The Sea of Cortés covers 62,000 square miles. It’s 700 miles long and between 30 and 150 miles wide. Hire a charter. Take a GPS. Mark coordinates where it stops to fish. When you return with your own boat, go there.

SUSAN: I need a good, cheap mani pedi where they serve wine.

CAP’N GREG: So do I.

KRISTEN: My husband says this bikini is way too small. What do you think?

CAP’N GREG: I think you need a new husband.

CARLOS: I like to save my money for partying, so I sleep in my car and eat street tacos. Any advice?

CAP’N GREG: You might want to stock up on deodorant and Wet Ones at the dollar store.

LAKEESHA: I’d rather eat sushi than steak.

CAP’N GREG: That sounds mighty fishy to me.

ALAN: I see there are places to rent horses. Can I ride one into a bar?

CAP’N GREG: Absolutely. But only once.

MARGIE: Why is it that, no matter where I buy them, margaritas all taste the same?

CAP’N GREG: How many have you had?

MARGIE: Eight. Maybe ten.

CAP’N GREG: Must be the ice.

JOHNNY: I bought a Rolex for $50 from that guy on the corner.

CAP’N GREG: It’s a fake.

JOHNNY: How do you know that?

CAP’N GREG: Because I sold it to him for $25.

BARBARA: I really like live bands.

CAP’N GREG: Me, too. Dead ones can be a total bummer.

MARISOL: When I’m home in Phoenix I like Mexican food. When I’m here in Peñasco I like pizza and pasta. Does that make sense?

CAP’N GREG: No, but it makes me hungry. You wanna go grab a slab at Capone’s?

MARISOL: Will you wear that stunning captain’s hat?

CAP’N GREG: Only if you buy.

MARISOL: It’s a deal. But only if you tip.

CAP’N GREG: I’ll tip my hat.

MARISOL: You are such a gentleman.

CAP’N GREG: Thank you from the bottom of my wallet.