I have been watching for all the information I can get on “The Virus” and talk about confusing. I am writing this May 27th so I hope this enemy has been whipped so bad it is history by the time you read this. Sent back to the origin that it got started at. We think we know where that is. It has run its course. Good riddance to you and don’t come back. I imagine that staying home with nothing to do so we eat. I hope my extra weight I gained will go the way the cause went.

I have put about 50 articles in this paper over a period of 9 years and I have had a lot of people acknowledge that they read my articles, but I have only seen one letter to the editor from someone that liked my articles. I haven’t read them all of course, but please let them know if you like it or not. I have published two books and sometimes I struggle to think of something to write about, so I put one of the chapters out of my book. I am going to do this again because I haven’t been out and about, so here goes, enjoy.

I sometimes Ramble a lot and I sure Ponder a lot. My wife starts waving her arms in circles and tells me to get on with what I’m trying to say because it’s going to be bedtime soon. Have you ever pondered why some people talk like they do? You listen as hard as you can, trying to figure out what they are saying. A lot of it is parental influence or peer pressure. You run with some kids that talk funny and soon you are doing it too. Your parents look at you and either say “What did you say” or they shake their heads and figure you will grow out of it. Some people realize that most people don’t talk that way and work on correcting themselves and some look at you like “Can’t you understand plain English?”

Please turn to your sense of humor side because I love y’all and I’m not trying to offend anyone. In these times I just let it roll off and don’t let it bother me, but I do ponder about it for a while and I sometimes Ramble a lot and I sure Ponder a lot.

I introduced you in my earlier stories to my ex-wife Old What’s Her Name or OWHN for short. Not that I would ex-wife bash. We retired in Missoula, MT in 2004 and moved to a small town in the southern USA because of the slowed down lifestyle, the cheap housing cost and being down south, no snow or cold weather. Ha!!!!  Zero degrees and 6” of snow? Well there goes that out the window. Population of 9800 residents in this town and 11 golf courses! Talk about slowed down. Have to call a week in advance for a tee time. You walk up to a store clerk, bartender, construction workers. almost everyone, except foreigners, and the first thing they say is, “How Y’all Doing Today?” I say, “I’m doing good”. They come back with “you’re doing good?” That’s what I said, I’m doing good.

My gas fireplace (brand new), the fan doesn’t work. My contractor is building next door, so I tell him about it. He says I’ll be over tomorrow and bring a warre and fix it. Warre? Yeah you know what juice flows in. How is he going fix this with a blender? I finally end up fixing it because they don’t get in too much of a hurry there. And for God’s sake don’t say anything to them or they will leave and won’t come back.

It said in my contract that in the first year if I need repairs due to faulty construction that I had to send a registered letter to the builder. He got it and went to his worker and told him to get right over and fix it because, “He done sent me a registered letter”.

They have a lot of buffets there and, while we were at one, I noticed a guy with a heavy trench coat on in the summer, sitting at a table. I watched him go up to the food line and fill his plate with fried chicken, and when he got back to his table, he stuffed his inside coat pockets full and went up again. Must have been getting ready for a hurricane or something we didn’t know about.

Our property did not have any bushes, trees, or flowers on it, just weeds. I bought a riding mower and put up some fence. While trying to make it look pretty. we went to a nursery and met an older gentleman and he said the usual, “How y’all doing today?” You know what follows so I’ll skip that part. We got to be good friends because he liked to BS and so do I. Had to show us his whole place, every plant, etc. Then he calls Ma to bring some sweet tea. Made lots of trips to his place and spent lots of money and drank lots of sweet tea.

It wouldn’t be fair picking on the nice southern people and ignore the fine folks up north. Canadians say, “ay”, the Minnesotans say, “well yah, are you going to the fish fry Friday night?”, New Yorkers say, “how you doing?” Some people say something and end it in “huh or ok”. My dad used to say, “Don’t you see?” I knew a guy once that said, “you know”. I don’t know, you know, all the time. When someone ends a sentence with “huh”, you feel obligated to answer with yah or something because they are waiting for you to reply and might get offended. 

I have one of those habits too. When a person is talking to me in Spanish, I am reminded of what the great Sioux War Chief Sitting Bull said to Custer. Hoka-Hey. Custer didn’t understand, so he said back, “no comprende”. The chief was saying, “it’s a good day to die”. This goes to show us that there is meaning in everything people say. So, when I say, “no comprende”, I duck because they might know the Sioux language.

Thanks for reading my articles.