Ask Cap’n Greg

Some of the questions I get from Rocky Point Times readers take a lot of space to address. Others are not only short and sweet, but also tame enough that they can be printed in a family newspaper.

Q: When I come to Rocky Point, do I have to drink Corona beer?

A: No. There are many other brands available. But whatever you drink, it’s a good idea to stay hydrated to avoid heat stroke. You can do that best with water or Gatorade-type fluids. Those who try to hydrate with only beer will discover the next day that, if they wake up at all, they will have a splitting headache and may be sharing their bed with a person they do not normally share anything with. In that case, even Gatorade won’t help.

Q: Why does it seem that many Mexican drivers turn on their left blinker when they are turning right?

A: There are two possibilities for this phenomenon. The first is because it is the only blinker that works. The second is because it is not a blinker at all; it is a brake light with a loose connection. And again, it is the only one that works. If you are following such a vehicle, you should be happy the driver cares enough to notify you he is going to do something other than drive straight.

Q: Why do so many Rocky Point guys play their car stereos so loud?

A: Could you repeat that question? A passing car had its stereo blaring so loud I couldn’t hear a freakin’ thing.

Q: Why do so many Rocky Point guys play their car stereos so loud?

A: Beats the hell out of me. Maybe they are making up for some … how should I say this … physical deficiency. I mean, it can’t be that they like the music, because most of it sounds like a cement mixer full of cats playing tubas. When you find out, let me know. But you’ll have to speak up so I can hear you.

Q: Is it possible to be in Rocky Point for more than two days without eating at the hot dog cart on Constitucion just off Juarez, across from the bus station?

A: No.

Q: Like the country song says, when I drink tequila my clothes fall off. What can a cute girl like me do about that?

A: Let me know next time you’re in Rocky Point, and we’ll have a shot or two while we discuss it.

Contact Cap’n Greg c/o the Rocky Point Times or email