Puerto-PenascoIf you’ve ever been to a place where English isn’t the native tongue, like Europe, Asia or New Jersey, you have discovered businesses try really hard to communicate. They make up signs to offer us rooms and food and other services in a language they don’t quite understand, but figure if they get close enough, what the hell. In Mexico, the sign painters are especially creative. One sign we have always wondered about is “Inflated Fish Taco.” Never have figured that out. My wife, Sandy, has an impressive collection of Mexican misspelling photos, and here are a few actual signs we attempted to decipher for you.

Fres Shrim = fresh shrimp

Girl No Cover = no cover charge for females

To Blok Lefths = go two blocks left

Happy Hour 3 at 7 = But what if there are only two of us?

All You Can Drik = The sign painter had one drik too many.

Differed Variete Firework = more than one kind boom-boom

Atornish At Law = Do NOT hire this guy.

Bes Pric in All Town = I wouldn’t go in there on a bet.

Ecenic Fly Rides = No way, José.

Iron Forniture = X-rated chairs and tables?

Dentist Lasser Treatments = Sounds good. You go first.

Fisig Boat = Get on that boat and you will drownig.

Menu Heated = Owowowow!

We’re Are Open = We’ll bet you’re are.

Concrete—we have all tipe of mold’s = and mildew’s, too?

Pellet Rifel = That spells trouble in any language.

Unbrellas = They do not work in the rain.

Prohibited the Sale of Minors to Age = must be 21 to understand this

We Put Batteries = Okay. But where?

Out of Orther = no work now, maybe work later

Pryed Fish = roadkill grouper?

Bech Condo Sleps 15 = Let’s go slep on the bech instead.

Trailas for Sell = and rooms to let, 50 centavos

Sheaper Than McDonald’s = baaaad food

Cheese Crip = a dairy-based gang from East L.A.

And now you know. We’ll see you Happy Hour 3 at 7.