September 5, 2021

Number 167 in a Series

My ice-cold bottle of Tecate was so wet with condensation, every time I took a sip it dripped down the front of my Life Is Good T-shirt. Sadly, I would not make the October cover of Gentlemen’s Quarterly. The guy on the next bar stool was sweating like a sumo wrestler in a sauna. We introduced ourselves.

ANDY: Cap’n, I took a shower four hours ago, and my hair is still wet.

CAP’N GREG: At least you still have hair.

ANDY: I knew Peñasco would be like this until fall, but not so drippy. How do the locals stand it?

CAP’N GREG: It’s all a matter of attitude, Andy. There simply is no way to enjoy this desert oasis by going from one air-conditioned place to another, so you need to accept that humidity is part of the package.

ANDY: I saw some men working construction on the way over here, and they all wore jeans and long-sleeved shirts.

CAP’N GREG: They know that dressing like that helps the body conserve moisture, keeping them cooler.

ANDY: But look at those women over there in bikinis.

CAP’N GREG: Don’t mind if I do.

ANDY: Are you saying they would be more comfortable wearing more clothes?

CAP’N GREG: In a clinical study? I’m sure data would prove their body temperatures would be lower.

ANDY: Maybe I should suggest they cover up.

CAP’N GREG: Whoa! Let’s not go overboard here. The key thing to remember is everyone is in the same boat. And as long as you don’t depend on the deodorant you got at the Dollar Store, it’s really a cool thing to share the muggy misery.

ANDY: When you put it that way, I feel a lot better.

CAP’N GREG: Or maybe it’s the beer.

ANDY: Only one way to test that hypothesis.

CAP’N GREG: More beer?

ANDY: This one’s on me.

CAP’N GREG: I appreciate that.

ANDY: Who knew scientific research was such thirsty work?

CAP’N GREG: We live and learn, Andy. We live and learn.