Some people come to Rocky Point for the dubious thrill of barhopping themselves into a coma. I had a recent online chat with Chip Tanner of Ventura, California. He asked me about the local transportation options.

CHIP: Wassup with bars down there? Can I get a beer to go?

CAP’N GREG: To go where?

CHIP: In the drink holder of my new Yamaha XYZ 1000R ATV.

CAP’N GREG: The police see an open container, you’ll pay a fine, maybe go to jail.

CHIP: Are you sure?

CAP’N GREG: I’m the Cap’n. I know what I’m talking about. They’ll put you in a cell with one of those mountain boys from “Deliverance.”

CHIP: Is that bad?

CAP’N GREG: Not if you can oink in Spanish.

CHIP: But how do I get from one bar to another if I don’t ride my new Yamaha XYZ 1000R?

CAP’N GREG: You ever seen those cars that say TAXI on the side?

CHIP: Yeh.

CAP’N GREG: For a few bucks they will take you anywhere you want to go.

CHIP: I had no idea.

CAP’N GREG: You could also walk.

CHIP: But I have a new Yamaha XYZ 1000R.

CAP’N GREG: We already covered that subject.

CHIP: Then how can I drive and also have drinks?

CAP’N GREG: You ever thought to separate the two?

CHIP: Huh?

CAP’N GREG: You could off-road your brains out in the daytime and party at night.

CHIP: People do that?

CAP’N GREG: Yes, but only those who are concerned about their safety and the safety of others.

CHIP: Wow. I’d like to meet people like that. Maybe they’d like to see my Yamaha XYZ 1000R. It’s got a great stereo system.

CAP’N GREG: Is it as loud as an F-35 fly-over?

CHIP: At least.

CAP’N GREG: Wow! I’m impressed!

CHIP: Really, Cap’n Greg?

CAP’N GREG: No.