Ask Cap’n Greg

Jul 8, 2016 by Ask Cap'n Greg

When I got out of the Navy many, many years ago, I tried selling Cutco Cutlery door to door. I explained how the knives were guaranteed not to stain, tarnish, pit or turn black, but talking a prospective buyer into shelling out over $100 for a set of knives was hard for me. Maybe I didn’t believe in the product enough. But when I told friends Jan and Ron about how wonderful Rocky Point is, my sales pitch worked great, and they joined Sandy and me for a few days south of the border. However, they were confused about a few things, and we tried to enlighten them.

RON: Why did you stop back there?
CAP’N GREG: Stop sign.
RON: Didn’t see one.
CAP’N GREG: It was knocked down or stolen years ago. Still have to stop.
RON: You’re kidding.
CAP’N GREG: No, I am not.
JAN: There are four people on that motorbike.
SANDY: Actually, five. The woman is carrying a baby on her back.
JAN: Is that legal?
SANDY: Legal is not the issue. It’s economical.
JAN: And dangerous.
SANDY: Not a concept widely understood here.
RON: Holy electrocution! What is that guy doing?
CAP’N GREG: You mean the one standing on top of three five-gallon buckets balanced on the trunk of a car, up to his elbows in a bunch of wires by that dripping transformer?
RON: There are so many things wrong with this picture.
CAP’N GREG: He’s probably routing electricity to his business.
RON: You think he knows what he’s doing?
CAP’N GREG: Sure, he does. In fact, ask any man on the street if he’s a plumber, carpenter, mason, painter, electrician or bulldozer operator. The answer is always, “Yes!”
SANDY: In the States, you want something done, you call an expert. Here, every guy is an expert at everything.
JAN: But why?
SANDY: Must be a macho thing. If he says he can’t do something, people may think he’s less of a man.
RON: Glad I don’t have that problem.
CAP’N GREG: Being less of a man?
RON: No, calling an expert. In fact, that bartender over there in the big hat looks like he could make a mean margarita.
CAP’N GREG: Actually, that’s not a bartender, he’s a trumpet player in a mariachi band.
RON: You know everything, don’t you Cap’n Greg?
CAP’N GREG: It’s a curse.
RON: Then I better buy a round of drinks to ease the pain.
CAP’N GREG: Spoken like a real man.

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