I am what marketers call an early adapter. When computers came out, I was all in. When digital cameras first appeared, I bought one. When the Internet made data sharing and communication cheap, fast and easy, I was first in line. But some things I just don’t get. Like when Kim Kardashian takes a selfie of her butt and puts it on Facebook, she gets 37 million likes. I take a selfie of mine, and I get one call. From my proctologist to set up my next exam. Is that fair? Meanwhile, some people who visit Rocky Point have a language problem. And I’m not talking about Spanish. Here’s an exchange I had with Rod Megler of Glendale, AZ.
ROD: This place is sick, man.
CAP’N GREG: Well, point yourself the other way.
ROD: No, I mean, like, sick. Righteous. Gravy noodles. Expressions of the appreciation I have for Rocky Point. Maybe an old person like you doesn’t understand street talk.
CAP’N GREG: What if this old person punched you in the throat?
ROD: I would not condone that behavior.
CAP’N GREG: How many tequilas have you had?
ROD: Got a calculator?
CAP’N GREG: At least you’re not slurring your speech.
ROD: The rain in Spain falls mainly in the … Huckabee!
CAP’N GREG: You’re further gone than I thought.
ROD: And you got a rad hat.
CAP’N GREG: My hat isn’t red. It’s white and black with gold braid and scrambled eggs.
CAP’N GREG: J-E-R-K.
ROD: Sorry, my world is all hash tags and dweets.
CAP’N GREG: Dweets?
ROD: Tweets from drunks.
CAP’N GREG: I think I’ll hash tag my way out of here.
ROD: I have too much blood in my alcohol system to understand that.
CAP’N GREG: Maybe you should paint the town rad, then be sick.
ROD: Now you’ve got it, Cap’n Greg.
CAP’N GREG: Good not talking to you.
ROD: Couldn’t have said it better myself.