Contrary to what many of you may think, Cap’n Greg doesn’t have all the answers. But his lack of knowledge on an array of subjects doesn’t mean he won’t offer up advice.

QUESTION: When it’s too hot in Peñasco for the pelicans to fly, what’s your favorite brand of beer?

CAP’N GREG: Cold is my favorite. Second choice is wet.

QUESTION: Is a run out to Bird Island worth it?

CAP’N GREG: If you run, you will sink almost immediately. I suggest taking a boat. And binoculars. Seals and their young among the rocks are huge fun to watch. And centuries of guano accumulation make for a superb olfactory experience as well. On the approximately 25-mile open water trip you will probably see other aquatic life, too, so it’s well worth your time and dinero.

QUESTION: Do I need a passport to go to Mexico?

CAP’N GREG: No, but you need one to come back. Unless you would rather hold up all those fine folks in line behind you while the border agent checks every other ID you have to make sure you are who you say you are. Get a passport. End of discussion.

QUESTION: Somebody told me Mexican gas would ruin my car’s engine. Is that true?

CAP’N GREG: Of course not. Although gas from refried beans can sometimes be catastrophic. 

QUESTION: I saw a place advertising table dances. What’s that about?

CAP’N GREG: After enough margaritas, I’d even dance with a chair.

QUESTION: Can man live by bread alone?

CAP’N GREG: No, but he can get by really good with just tortillas.

QUESTION: How many seas must a white dove sail, before she sleeps in the sand?

CAP’N GREG: The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. The answer is blowin’ in the wind.