Nibbling Nachos with The Upper Crust

Jun 6, 2014 by Mike Bibb

Nibbling NachosIn spite of numerous trips, I’ve never had the opportunity to dine in one of Rocky’s Point’s newer eateries, The Satisfied Frog. That is, until Sandy O’Hare, flamboyant owner and editor of the Rocky Point Times Newspaper, cordially invited her wanna-be award winning columnist to sample the menu of the recently opened business.

Being his usual punctual self, Mike, wife Eilene and friends Norm and Shirley Moffitt of Safford, AZ arrived a few minutes late, allowing Sandy and fellow local imbibers, John and Norma King, to order multiple orders of chilled cervezas, rum and cokes and various adult beverages while waiting.

Fortunately, Mike and his party arrived in time to calm what could have evolved into a seriously out-of-control drunken melee. Not that John, 91, and Norma couldn’t hold their liquor. The couple is legendary in the RP bar scene as being the undisputed champions of alcoholic consumption in the octogenarian and above crowd. Reportedly, Norma has participated in a fair amount of table dancing over the years and being 86 years old hasn’t impaired her skills.

On this particular day, however, she remained content to remain seated and reminisce about the good-old-days in the Ziegfeld Follies.

Of course, we’re all familiar with Sandy’s propensity to consume huge quantities of iced Indios. So much that a steady stream of beer delivery trucks can be seen servicing any establishment Sandy may be visiting. Fortunately, new government alcohol consumption guidelines now suggest limiting patrons to a maximum of ten liters per commercial brand of beer and two liters of wine and liquor. In other words, one could enjoy nearly 2 1/2 gallons of Corona, Dos Equis, Pacifico, Carta Blanca and top it off with another 2 1/2 gallons of their favorite Indio and still remain in compliance with federal regulations.

Not being a licensed attorney, I could be unintentionally misinterpreting the law due to flawed communication skills. Therefore, if anyone is seriously contemplating drinking Sandy under the table, it is recommended the table either be lowered to ankle height or raised to the ceiling. Otherwise, don’t bother.

After introductions and pleasantries, the little group assembled around a couple of wooden tables, ordered more drinks and proceeded to review the list of available delicacies.

John, a retired commercial contractor from Lake Havasu City, AZ ordered a heaping plate of nachos with shredded beef while Sandy and Norma decided individual orders of ribs, cheese poppers and Buffalo wings would suffice as an appetizer until the main course arrived. Norm settled for something called a Torpedo Burger and Shirley seemed content to try a pulled pork sandwich with fries. A safe choice. Realizing our inability in competing with John’s excessive appetite, Eilene and I decided to share the nacho plate, with Eilene selfishly scooping the larger portion. She’s always been the more aggressive carnivore.

Following the meal, Mike and Sandy got down to business: Mike demanding more remuneration for his Pulitzer-like articles, and Sandy countering with the usual management retort – “You should be paying me to publish your crap!”

Valid arguments. Consequently, as a result of the impasse a federal mediator has been summoned to intervene in the dispute.

In the meantime, both Mike and Sandy have agreed to respect each other’s opinions – as long as Sandy continues to pick-up the bar tab and Mike consents to a professional mental examination.

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