June: Celebrating Father’s Day

Jun 6, 2014 by Rita Pizarro

This month of June a lot of us are thinking about Father’s Day, some of us think of our fathers who have passed away, and are not quite sure what to do on Father’s Day. I recently lost my step dad who was like a second father to me and who I was raised with for many years. He didn’t even get sick he just literally dropped dead one day, this inspired me to write:

Henry left this world so suddenly, it left us thinking why such a swift exit from this world? He didn’t give us any warning, didn’t go to any doctors and didn’t get sick, just one day he was found lifeless by my sister who had just talked to him over the phone.

Blessed him that didn’t suffer any long illness or extended stays at any hospital.

His departure reminds us how ephemeral life is and leaves me wondering what is it that we leave after we die?

Henry leaves behind his two children, my beautiful sister Ilana Yvker and my brother Yair Yvker. They were his pride and his reason to go ahead day after day. He was more than a father, he loved his children and his family like nothing else but he was also an artist, poet, composer, a great photographer and multimedia producer. He was not a common person: even though he appeared as a strong and tough man, inside of him and in his creations he revealed the soul of the poet, the sensitivity of the most emotional artist and the eye of the greatest painter. In his great video presentations that he created for so many years he would make the feelings of his audience flourish occasionally bringing tears to their eyes. He knew how to present the car of the year, the star salesman of that season, how to integrate teams to feel closer to each other and appreciate their work environment better. He was a creator, an artist and along with his children he leaves behind a collection of countless very beautiful photographs of families, nature, automobiles, buildings, landscapes, light and shades. Henry was not my biological father but he did treat me as one of his own. He was with me through hard times and never forgot I was there, he was truthful and loyal. Like a good artist he was a bit withdrawn and lonely, more so than people who cared for him would have liked for him. He was always interested in the cosmos, the stars and what lay beyond. Now he is beyond in one of those stars he so much liked to study, and would have liked to see in one dark night with no moon. Or perhaps he is now a meteor bright in the middle of the night illuminating the road of some lonely traveler. Wherever he is right now, his death was sudden like a shooting star; left us wanting to talk to him some more, to have shared some more moments together, to have sent more emails, to have visited with him more often.

Sudden death leaves us reflecting in our own life. Are we doing things we enjoy, are we talking to loved ones and ready to part in peace if our time comes suddenly? Did we leave good memories with our friends and family. Did we do the things we wanted to do, visit the places we wanted to see, did we have peace of mind and were happy with who we were? This are all questions in past tense that we need to make in the present. Are we doing what we enjoy, are we achieving what we want out of life? Do we need to make some changes, or are we good today with who we are and happy with our relationships so that if we died tomorrow we could have peace and leave good memories?

We always think there is tomorrow and we can change tomorrow and things can be done later on, but there is not always a tomorrow and even if there is a tomorrow we don’t ever know how many tomorrows there are so we need to start acting today, not only in case we are the ones parting but what if one of our loved ones is the one who parts?

The world is very big and families extend through different countries and it is hard to be together, but technology makes it easy to connect. Send a short email, make a phone call, maybe a Facebook post or a text message and for a moment we are all together in the same place and time.

The last email Henry sent me said, “You are writing better every day.”

This was sent after I shared with him my last Rocky Point Times article about the cultural differences between the US and Mexico. But mine are just everyday words that didn’t compare to his heartfelt poems and writings.

This Father’s Day I invite you to celebrate with your father if he is still around, forget difficult times or differences you might have had in the past, forgive, fill your heart with love and live today. For the fathers that are not with us anymore, evoke the good memories of their life and how they touched ours whether biological fathers or fathers by choice.

I thank both my fathers, wherever the universe has them today, for helping shape me into who I am today, I hope they are both proud of me.

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